I believe that we should all have the opportunity to live to our fullest potential, free from the constraints we and others put around ourselves of
fear, doubt and lack of choice.
What would life look like for you then?
When I was little I wanted to be a doctor. Blame it on a childhood watching Casualty.
My teacher very kindly told me that I wouldn't make it and so I took that precious piece of wisdom and encouragement and gave up that dream, slightly embarrassed that I'd been so deluded to have even dared thinking abut it.
Over the years though a pattern began to emerge of my listening to others opinions and doing what they thought was the right thing for me to do. I did what I was told, afraid of rocking the boat and upsetting people. There were expectations of me that I had to meet, say and do the right things so that I wasn’t a disappointment.
The only one disappointed was me. I lost who I was. I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. I didn’t really have an opinion on things because I was worried it was the wrong one, I couldn’t even say what I wanted for dinner!
Now don’t get me wrong, I have done some incredible things and had some amazing opportunities in my life and for the main part, others have only ever wanted the best for me. Yet over time, I began to realise that my fitting in with their plans suited and served them better than it did me.
I was doing what I thought I should do.
What others thought I should do.
Through some volunteer work, I began leading a self-esteem course for women and speaking at conferences around the subjects of worth and purpose and I suddenly realised how ironic it was that everything I was leading these incredible women through, was everything I no longer was.
My confidence was on the floor, I was lacking purpose and yet feeling the pressure to be all things to all people. On the outside I was my normal cheery self but inside I had this inner turmoil of wanting to do and be so much more but I didn’t even know what that looked like or where to begin finding it.
Where was my choice?
Well, it was there all along.
I just couldn’t see it for a while.
The Ta-Dah moment happened by being coached myself and looking back at what had first inspired me to want to be a doctor and here's the truth -
I love to make a difference in the lives of others for the better, to stand alongside others when they are at their most vulnerable, to reassure those who are discouraged and frightened, to listen and for others to feel heard. I really do want to change lives.
Coaching ticked all of those boxes for me and so much more. Since then I have trained as a life coach with CTI in London and learned a lot about myself along the way.
Yes, I still have wobbles but that's life. These things don't crush me the way they would've once done because I'm confident in who I am and the choices I have.
I choose how I spend my time. I choose who I spend it with. I choose what fulfills me. I choose to take on new challenges that scare me, I choose to say 'No' and I choose to say 'Yes', I choose how I respond to things.
Life for me now is fulfilling and exciting. I have found who I am, I have found my voice, my purpose. I get to be who I was always created to be, with confidence, boldness, integrity and authenticity.
Coaching brings to fruition these values of mine
- to listen
- to empathise
- to be curious
- to not judge
- to speak the truth
- to be trusted
- to encourage
- to make a difference
- to watch people grow
- to see others make bold steps
- to change lives
10 not so interesting facts
If you don't know where you're going,
you'll end up somewhere else.